grass

September 12, 2011

Can You Edit My Story?

garden swing bench Can you edit my story?

Chapter 3
An amazing Discovery
After living in the Castle, I know a lot about this place. one of the places is the Garden. It is an amazing place filled with colors. There are trees which serve fruit, and plants which serve vegetables. before you walk in, there is a beautiful arbor with vines and flowers on it. The grass is the greenest grass you will ever see in a lifetime. There are flowers next to the arbor and two cherry trees diagonal from the arbor. when you walk in, the grass is even greener. Adaleide’s family takes good care of it.

Another is the inside of the Castle. Inside there is amazing pictures. Adaleide tells me that they are her ancestors. they must have been painted by a rich man, or woman. There are also scented flowers around the castle. some are purple, pink, yellow and my favorite, red! those are tulips, but there are different kinds of flowers too; there are daisies, columbines and roses! Adaleide’s parent’s room is also very beautiful. There are pictures of the garden, and the forest (in its nice places.) then there is my room, I share a room with Adaleide. It’s lots of fun though. We like to pretend we are nights fighting the evil dragon on our wall. There is a picture of a night, a princess hiding in a dark, spooky cave which we think is the dragons den. then there is a large dragon that is on the wall, and the ceiling! He is a ferocious dragon steeling the princess, which Adaleide and I named Princess Aurora; we think that is the most beautiful name in the world, especially for a princess. Adaleide says that we are not really princesses; she just says that we live in a castle, but I believe that if you live in a castle, you are one. if that is true though, then I guess I just pretend that I am a princess even though Gracia never calls me a princess even when I ask her to. I don’t like Gracia, but she does clean this place.

Over all, this is a nice place, but the bad parts about the castle, is these comments. first of all, there is a big well, it is too deep, and the bucket is too big that I am afraid I will fall in, and the bucket is so heavy to lift. sometimes though, I wonder what’s in there. another thing is that Gracia always gives us too many chores and never agrees with us. Lastly, there is a big hole in the garden, and Gracia is too lazy to fill it in. she always says “I have much more important stuff to do than to fill in that large hole, so if you want it filled in so badly, how about you just do it yourselves!” what really bugs me is that she says this while reading a book next to the fireplace. she never really cares about anything but her own interests.

I was sitting down with Cecily playing checkers when I heard Adaleide called my name. I ran back to the front door where Adaleide was standing. “What is it?” I asked curiously. Adaleide sounded very worried. she grabbed my hand so hard that it felt like she was going to pull it off.
“Come with me! I’ve found something more amazing than you’ve ever seen!” Adaleide yelled.
“What? what is so important to see that you would want to interrupt my game of checkers which I was winning!”
“You’ll see!” she responded, though I did not see anything that could break my chance of winning checkers with Cecily. she has always beaten me and now, the one time I am going to beat her, Adaleide interrupts!

Then, I noticed that we had already reached the monstrous river. “Adaleide, we have gone too far. Gracia is going to get mad at us.” I told her.
She just told me an excuse “I have gone this way before.” she grabbed a rope and swung across the river, then she handed me the rope, but I didn’t catch it, then she yelled at me for not catching. So she threw it back, and told me to catch it this time, and this time I actually caught it. The river was flowing so fast that I bet not even the fastest creature in the forest could beat it. It was a monstrous forest. I quickly jumped my feet up and flew across the river (even though I was scared to jump across it.) After that, Adaleide started running again, and even though I was a fast runner, she would always beat me. So I ran right behind her. Brushing through trees we ran through the wild forest.

Next, we reached a tree line. those trees were high, and had spikes at the bottom of the trees. Adaleide started walking beside the tree line. I was wondering what she was doing. then we reached to a spot where a hole in the branches was hidden, and there, she went inside the tree line. she told me not to be scared, even though I wasn’t scared and I was just curious. So I went inside too, and there it was. It was unbelievable!

There were trees that reached the sky, and there were the ripest apples I had ever seen. There were also colorful flowers that had the most fragrant smell. There were also other trees that were perfect for climbing- climbing trees was my most favorite thing to do in the world besides read books. I could hear a waterfall behind us. I could hear the water swis

Can you edit my story?